can't sleep

I can't sleep, so the obvious thing to do is change the design of my blog, which of course eventually leads to blogging. I re-read the post from yesterday. The one about how nervous I am, how unsure I will be able to finish all of this and make something of myself. It struck me that I failed to mention the one person who has believed in me through this entire journey. Through like three different jobs, and two careers.

EMILY!

If it weren't for Emily, I don't know what I would do. I actually don't know how she does it, to be honest. She is currently wrapping up her first year of grad school, while working a part-time job that consumes more of her time and energy than any average full-time job should, while being the most amazing, supportive, friendly person I've ever met, working out multiple times a week, doing yoga, training for and running a half-marathon, and still managing to make time to see me a few times a week when I can work it into my crazy schedule. Honestly. I don't understand it. When I look at how I have to plan out my week, and the things I do are in huge 24 or 12 hour chunks I get overwhelmed. Emily sometimes has to plan her days out to the hour to make sure everything gets done - and it DOES always get done. She's like superwoman! I tell people all the time that I have the most amazing girlfriend in the world. That I'm the lucky one. That I couldn't do this without her. That she means the world (and more) to me. But I think that THEY think I'm just being emotional. Or sappy. Or boasting. Well I am, all of those, but it's also the truth. There is NO WAY I would have ever even started medic class without Emily's support. I doubt I would have ever even joined the fire department without her encouragement. I would never have made it through fire recruit school. EMT school. Job changes. Training. Unemployment. Employment. Learning. Growing. I've learned how to share my life with her, too. REALLY share it. Not just superficially. The good and the bad. Although lately, there's been so much more good than bad as our lives keep getting better and more in sync. I've learned to be open and honest. I've learned to be healthy (erm, healthiER....still some room for improvement.) I've learned that steel toe boots, blue jeans, and a black polo shirt do not constitue appropriate "date night" attire. How I managed to win her love dressed like that on our first date is a mystery to me, even today.

So I don't say it often enough, but I try. I love you, Em. We make a great team.