re: that last post

Not so much.

Things are weird. Rachel can't decide what she wants, and I continue to be jerked around. I grow more frustrated and confused by this situation with each passing day. I care so much about her, but this ability of hers to hurt me, and always change her mind about everything, big or small, is getting to be too much. I know there are a lot of things going wrong in her life right now, but I want her to learn to take control of her life, instead of relying on others to fix everything for her. Even if we do make things right, we won't be together forever. Things are just too fucked up, and she's got too much of an aversion to commitment. I think she wants to be in love with me, but she isn't. The sooner we can both admit that, the sooner things can get back to normal and we can be friends again. This is just too frustrating.

I've decided to go ahead and get back on eharmony, and see who else is out there. Even if it just means going on ONE date, it will still have been somebody new, and will allow me a fresh perspective on my dating life.

I don't know where we go from here.

also

For those of you not in touch with me on a regular basis, I wanted to let ya'll know that Rachel and I have decided to get back together and see if we can't patch things up together for the long haul, so to speak.

She wanted me to let everyone know because the last time I mentioned her in my blog I was sad and hurt. So, there you go.

super bored

PUT AN X BESIDE EVERYTHING THAT YOU'VE DONE

() Smoked A Cigarette
(x) Smoked A Cigar
() Given a ring to a BF/GF
( ) Made a sex video
(x ) Had a threesome
(x) Ran from the cops
() Been chased by the cops while driving
(x) Had a turkey in bowling (3 strikes in a row)
(x) Ridden a horse
(x) Ridden a motorcycle
(x) Seen a tornado
(x) Shot a real gun
(x) Not showered for more than 1 week
( ) Bungee jumped
( ) Jumped from a plane
() Gone surfing
(x) Smoked weed
() Done chemical drugs
() Had a real relationship with someone you met online
(x) Played a video game for more than 8 hours straight
(x) Gone to summer camp
(x) Gotten a speeding ticket
(x) Failed a class/course
(x) Shaved your head
() Been in a wedding party
() Been to a nude beach
(x) Bought on eBay
(x) Sold on eBay
(x) Gotten Straight A's
(x) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(x) Are / Been In Love
(x) Been Dumped
(x) Shoplifted
() Been Fired
(x) Been In A Fist Fight
(x) Had Feelings For Someone Who Didn't Have Them Back
() Been Arrested
() Made Out With A Stranger
(x) Gone Out On A Blind Date
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(x) Skipped School
(x) Fooled Around With A Co-worker
() Seen Someone Die
(x) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your Facebook Friends
() Been To Paris
() Been To Spain
(x) Been on a Plane
(x) Thrown Up From Drinking
(x) Eaten Sushi
() Been Snowboarding
() Met Someone BECAUSE Of Facebook
() Been Mosh Pitting
(x) Been In A Mentally Or Physically Abusive Relationship
(x) Liked Someone Who You Can't Have
(x) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(x) Cheated While Playing A Game
(x) Fallen Asleep At Work / School
(x) Used A Fake / Someone Else's ID
(x) Felt An Earthquake
(x) Killed A Snake
(x) Been Robbed / Vandalized
() Won A Contest
(x) Been Suspended From School
(x) Had Detention
(x) Been in a car/motorcycle accident
(x) Had/ Have Braces
(x) Kept a secret
(x) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) Hated The Way You Look
(x) Witnessed A Crime
(x) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(x) Been Lost
() Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
(x) Swam In The Ocean
(x) Felt Like You Were Dying
(x) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(x) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
(x) Sang Karaoke
(x) Gotten a tattoo
() Paid For A Meal With Only Coins
(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(x) Made Prank Phone Calls
(x) Cried in a movie
(x) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
(x) Kissed In The Rain
() Written A Letter To Santa Claus
(x) Been Kissed Under A Mistletoe
(x) Creeped on someone on Facebook
(x) Traveled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(x) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
() Jumped Off A Bridge
() Swam With Dolphins
(x)Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/ Freezer/ Ice Cube/Popsicle
(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(x) Sat On A Roof Top
(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
() Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
(x) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours
(x) Stayed Up All Night
(x) Met someone famous
(x) Did something you regretted
(x) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(x) Believe(d) In Ghosts
() Have had More Than 30 Pairs Of Shoes At One Time
() Gone Streaking
() Been to Jail
(x) Played Chicken
(x) Been Pushed Into A Pool With All Your Clothes On
() Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
(x) Broken A Bone
(x) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
(x) Caught A Butterfly
(x) Cried So Hard You Laughed
() Mooned / Flashed Someone
(x) Had Someone Moon / Flash You
(x) Cheated On A Test
(x) Slept Naked
() French Braided Someones Hair
() Gone Skinny Dipping
(x) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
(x) Went Scuba-Diving / Snorkeling
(x) Had A Cavity
(x) Black-Mailed Someone
(x) Been Black Mailed
(x) Bitten Someone
(x) Licked Someone
(x) been shot at/or at gunpoint (paintballing counts)
() Had sex in the rain
(x) Had sex in a car
() Had sex while driving
(x) Flattened someones tires
(x) Drove your car/truck until the gas ran out
(x) Got five dollars or less worth of gas
(x) Been on TV
() Been on the radio

long time...

It feels like it's been forever since I posted about Bonk. When I think about her, I still cry. Spot seems to be doing just fine. She's fat as ever, but still spends some time on the running wheel once in a while. Most of her exercise is from climbing all over me when I play with her. I check on Bonk's gravesite every now and then. I'm glad I put it somewhere I can see it from my balcony. It's nice to look out and see the stone I left for her.

Things at work have been good lately. We've been busy these past couple weeks, but I've still found time to take care of a couple of projects, including FINALLY cleaning the trucks. They were filthy, and it was about time to get it done. I've had some trouble getting freelancers in this week to help in the shop, but for the most part, I've had some really good help with pulling and checking in shows. Not much else has gotten done in the shop, though - still no pallet racks, still nothing done about cleaning the warehouse. However, the landlord did come and talk to Jim about how we need to clean up the warehouse because he's moving the different companies around. I think we're officially going to have half the warehouse now, but it will be the other half, so we will actually have to MOVE everything, and hopefully throw away most of it. I need to finish unpacking and get the rest of my stuff out of the warehouse before we do that, hopefully.

Anyway, I guess I've just felt a little frazzled lately. Rachel and I have decided to get back together, and that has helped a lot. She brings a lot of good into my life, and she makes me happy.