in memory of Bonk

Bonk died tonight. I had fallen asleep on the couch, and when I woke up to go to bed, I checked on Spot and Bonk before I turned off the lights. Bonk was in the top part of the cage, eyes closed, breathing really hard. I held her for a few minutes, and felt how cold she was, and took her to an Emergency Vet because her breathing was getting more and more labored. They did CPR on her for a few minutes, but really just long enough for me to say goodbye to her. I cried the whole way home, and I'm still crying now. I held Spot for a long time, trying to feel better, but I think my sobs and sniffling were scaring her, so I put her back in her cage and went to my room. The vet said she was in excellent health, even for three years old, and there wasn't anything I did wrong, she was just old, and probably developed congestive heart problems, which caused her heart to slow and eventually stop tonight. The doc said she probably wasn't in any pain, because she let me hold her and was relatively still before she died.

My heart aches so much, and I miss her already. I'm going to bury her in the forest behind my apartment building tomorrow and mark it with a stone or something. I love you and miss you, Bonk. Spot and I will be very lonely without you.