movie catchup

So then, I should also mention that I've recently had the time to see a couple of excellent movies. I saw Bourne Ultimatum in theaters, and I think I may have been the last person on the face of the earth to see 300. I watched it at home on DVD because Bonnie basically forced me to. It seemed like it was going to be one of those historically-based fiction films that I hate, and it turned out to be FANTASTIC. I highly recommend both.

time to put life on hold

So, it's time to forget about all of the stuff going on in my life for a while. Work is getting busy again, and I have to take care of moving into my new apartment. I'm so sick over everything that has happened recently, I can't think about it anymore. I get depressed over nothing lately, and I just want to have everything be ok.

Anyway... moving is going ok, but very slowly. It's hard to be motivated to pack when I come home from work. I'm hoping to get the large majority of everything packed and moved this weekend. We shall see.

things are weird

Things are weird. I don't know what to do about it. I keep going around in circles. My stomach gets these huge lumps in it everytime I try to think about me and Rachel. I dunno what to do, I want to think that time will heal everything, but everytime I try to delay it, one of us or both of us gets antsy about it. I can't think about this anymore. I just want to go to sleep and wake up in a couple weeks.

half of my heart is gone

Rachel and I broke up. This time it's for keeps, I think. There was a lot of stuff that happened, and I don't feel like smearing it all over the internet, for both our privacy. I feel sick, and alone. I think it was the right thing to do, but thinking about my life without her makes me feel dizzy. I don't have a close friend in Cincinnati anymore. Things with Tom are so shitty, Adam is moving away to Cleveland. If I could, I would cry all day and stay in bed, but I have to go to work, and eventually I fall asleep from crying so much.

I still love her. I don't think I'll ever stop loving her, and part of me is hoping that we'll get back together sometime down the road. Like if we're meant to be, then we'll end up back together because it's fate. I feel so shitty and depressed. I want to go home and curl up and cry and not see anyone I know for a couple weeks.

oh yeah

Also... going to Wisconsin this weekend for Ryan Wurtz's wedding with Renee since Rachel had to work. I'm TOTALLY psyched, I think it's gonna be a lot of fun to catch up with wurtzy and see how he's doing these days, get a fun roadtrip with Renee in, and also get totally sloshed at the party. I haven't been to a wedding in quite some time. (Which also reminded me that I need to go get a suit, since I only have slacks and shirts cause I haven't had to dress up in a long while...)

Ok. Bedtime...

heyo!

So, I feel great. No, really. I feel really good this week. Stuff at work has been going well, we did a quick count inventory this week to verify what all we have in Intelevent, and I found some errors I've been meaning to correct, and it was also a great opportunity to get the shop cleaned up and organized again. I love having hard-working friends like Ben and Rob who I can bring in on freelance labor time to help out. It's win-win, because they make money, and I have people I can trust working for me in the shop.

Things with Rachel are really good right now too. She and I were just talking the other night and realized that almost all of the weirdness we had both been feeling seems to have faded away. There was, of course, the ipod debacle, which ended up being ok. But that was a tense night.

Anyway, I just wanted to add a little update. I've just been thinking lately about how far I've come, and how much my life has turned around in just the past couple years. My Dad called me today to let me know that my diploma from UC showed up, which means I am actually, really a college graduate. Exciting stuff.... it also helps that I love my job and the people I work with. Oh yeah, and I love my baby, too. :)