feelin like a douche

So, Rachel is sick. I was taking care of her a bit the last couple nights. I even went and got her soup from Panera. All of this caring for her and being sweet and knowing that she wasn't feeling well still didn't stop me from acting like a complete and total asshole last night. I was harping on her about being a vegetarian again, and then some other stupid shit. I said I was sorry when I realized I was upsetting her, and she said it's ok, but I know I'm a dumbass. I just don't know how to change that about me... sometimes I just say and do things that I wish I never had.

*sigh*

This quarter is half-over. I'm ready to go to Phoenix. I'm also hoping that we can plan some kind of trip for spring break, cause I really wanna go somewhere for nothing at all, just fun. I also gotta get out to New Jersey and meet Bill at Circuit Lighting sometime between now and, you know, whenever I start working there. Oh, and lets not forget finding a place to live, and a way to move all my shit. AND I have to make sure that all of my graduation shit gets taken care of, and Jim doesn't fuck me over the way he did Tommy.

Work sucks today. I don't want to go to makeup class at all. I hate smearing that shit on my face and pretending that it's art, and that I give two shits about it. I gain NOTHING from that class, it has even less bearing on my work than any of the OTHER design classes I've taken, because unlike costume and set design, lighting doesn't work with or around makeup designers, makeup is last in line, and has to just follow whatever the fuck the lighting, costume, and set designers decide. It's bullshit. I'm tired of it, and I want my beard back.

FUCK I'm in a bad mood today. I should just go home and go back to bed until saturday.